I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
