what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
