this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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