What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
