just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
