it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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