hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
