Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How naked do you want me to be?
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