"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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