Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
