its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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