I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
