oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
