just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
