i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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