worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
