i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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