I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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