remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
