I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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