how can u be prego again
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
