bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
