CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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