Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
