I showed him my bush... on skype.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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