he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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