what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
