I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i think i just lost a toe
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
