bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
