fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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