im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
