She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
