apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
