on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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