Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she pinky promised me she was 18
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
