The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
