anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
