If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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