I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So squirting runs in the family.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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