I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
