Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
