that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
