Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
