Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
