i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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