Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
