Yo dont text me then not text me
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
