How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
