so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
