lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
