all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
YAS. BRING CRAB.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
