"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
